You Can't Name a Vietnamese Kid "Charlie"

"The fundamental principle of Vietnamese military science is: 'In war, you must win.'"
-General Vo Nguyen Giap

I've been writing this entry for the last four days, so if it's a little disjointed, just wait 'til next time. Things began splendidly when the person sitting next to me on my 14-hour flight to Tokyo turned out to be invisible. Even though it's impolite to impose on somebody else's space, their visibility notwithstanding, I couldn't help but enjoy two seats' worth of space. American Airlines (oh how I miss Scattergories) got me across the Pacific just fine. The flight from Tokyo to HCM City allowed me my first encounter with a Vietnamese person (since saying goodbye to Florence the day before). He reminded me a lot of this guy I ran into at Le Casino de Montreal about a year-and-a-half ago... the one who kept yelling "high-low!" at the craps table (that missed 95% of my audience, but those who understand are hopefully laughing). Somehow, everything I said to him was hilarious. If I hadn't been so jetlagged, I probably would've tried to have some fun with our communicative impasse, but instead, I watched the careers of John Travolta, Martin Lawrence, Tim Allen, William H. Macy, and Ray Liotta simultaneously collapse in "Wild Hogs".

As we touched down in HCM City, a wonderful song came over the loud speaker. I couldn't identify it if I tried, but the uplifting tone was matched by the looks I found as I panned the cabin. A mix of visitors, natives, relatives, and tourists were united under a common anthem of socialist glory - well, kinda. The flight came to a solid halt, I wished my newfound friend farewell, and meandered through HCM City airport until I found a taxi.

Just to keep everyone on the same page, the program I'm traveling with is called CET Vietnam Immersion. CET is an independent study-abroad organization centered in Washington, DC with affiliates at most major universities (including, of course, the World-Famous University of Florida). Accompanying me are six of the most diverse (geographically and intellectually... ethnically... eh, not so much) and awesome people I've ever met - 5 Vietnamese-Americans and 1 other pure-bred Caucasian (a true Southerner named Philip Anderson).

Living alongside us are 11 Robertson Scholars from Duke and UNC. I just spent some time chatting with one of 'em - very friendly and bright kids. Their questions during our briefings (we've gone to a Nike Factory and the American Consulate together thus far) are outstanding. Singaporean Beer: $1.50. Having high-quality people to enjoy the nonexistent drinking age with: priceless.

Just because I know you're all thinking, "Whoa! He got to visit the Nike Factory! Man, how do I become Matt Schwarz?" I'll give you some details. They've got tons of employees working in an extremely organized set of plants, producing everything you can imagine - Planet Nike, so to speak. I met a woman named Hao Nguyen (no relation to Scotty... or Jen... maybe Vo Nguyen Giap?) who's a Public Relations manager and astonishingly versed in foreign business. We spoke for about 30 minutes about FDI and specifically how Vietnam has adapted to the arrival of so much foreign capital.

Alright, back to basics: every morning, we spend 3 hours learning Vietnamese. Because I'm the equivalent of a mute Vietnamese toddler, I receive one-on-one instruction, which is amazing on two levels. First, my teacher (Co Tra) moves at my pace, and second, I don't feel stupid asking boatloads of questions. She's probably just being nice, but Co Tra always insists that I'm doing well... awww, Matt's learning Vietnamese. Yesterday, we agreed to go sake bombing if when I learn all my numbers. Mot tram... mot nghan...

I'm trying to find a balance between language study, research, class (along with Vietnamese, we have a course on modern Vietnamese society a couple times a week), and non-class "enrichment activities". My favorite part of the program is my Vietnamese roommate, Thanh. Thanh's 21, he's got a girlfriend named Vy, and he's lived in Saigon his whole life. I'm amazed at the quality of his English - much better than some of the professors and TAs I've had at UF. I've told him about all my beloved Vietnamese friends - Evan, Florence, Scotty Nguyen, and Chau Giang. Tonight, we're gonna play pool and maybe enjoy a few Heinekens... interestingly, Heinekens cost 30,000 VND (about $1.80) while Budweiser costs about 90,000 VND. I didn't believe all the shit about Vietnam being backwards until I saw that.

Academically, this program couldn't be better-tailored to my research needs. I'm actually scaling back the amount of Vietnamese I'm taking to make more room for writing and interviews. Almost every morning, Rylan, the CET Resident Advisor, gives me another business contact - along with Nike, we've met with a pair of diplomats from the American Consulate. Early next week, I'm interviewing a Scandinavian bussinessman who's been doing business here for 10 years.

The food here is world-class and dirt-cheap. I haven't indulged in the handmade delights of the million-or-so "grassroots capitalists" adorning the streets of Saigon with sandwich carts and makeshift pho (beef and noodle soup) stations, but there's still been plenty of local cuisine to keep this adventurer satisfied.

Even when they don't speak a lick of English, the people here are overwhelmingly friendly and helpful. I get my coffee every morning from two sisters named Sam and Lam. They're really good-humored and always willing to listen to my mangled-Vietnamese. It's kind of awkward when I'm in a rush because they always expect me to sit down in their shop and chat for a few minutes.

Wow, time flies when you're recalling Third World memories. I'd better get on to some studying... maybe catch a massage and/or trip to the gym. I know I've left a ton of details out this time around, but I wanted to make sure everyone had a foundation before I moved on to bigger and better things. Now that you're all up to speed, I can provide detailed glimpses of life around Saigon. Until then, I'd like to leave you with some more Vietnamese words of wisdom:

"You can't name a Vietnamese kid 'Charlie!'"
-Dave Tran